Thursday 22nd October 2020 22.26

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy

A structured therapy that encourages the patient to briefly focus on the trauma memory while simultaneously experiencing bilateral stimulation (typically eye movements), which is associated with a reduction in the vividness and emotion associated with the trauma memories.

I will be blogging any changes in myself to let others know first hand what happens. This is also a way to record my sessions

I thought this was going to be easy and that I would recover quicker but I must add this has been a hard testing time.. due to practically blocking most of my life out for no reason at all.

And becoming this hard shelled person who could take on the world and not question anything… After the battle of being a child and the realisation that one day we will die.. so I built this persona and tackled things when they happened.

So in doing this once the incident occured after hearing the usual stories and people naturally replying with “at least ir wasnt them”

So being forced out of your comfort zone and having a mixture of remaining professional adrenaline mixed emotions heightened senses and overthinking.

Naturally I was aware of my surroundings and looking to see what was missing. Then my mind went into overdrive I practically was thinking what happens if he hits me what happens if no one assists where are the other people etc etc..

And after the incident I felt proud and courageous until the trauma part came into realisation.

Then things took a turn for the worse.

Everyone i closed my eyes i couldnt switch off. Replaying over and over and about 20 different plays if I had done things differently. Then the did I do things propperly… this right here is the killer!!

Self doubt can ruin you. Im grateful that I had my family and young son to give me reason to live

The problem as I said before is overthinking then you practically start a vicious circle.

I couldnt make a cup of tea at work prepare food at home. Wash baby bottles in sterilising fluid drive my car home with at least going back to check stupid things.

Constantly thinking something bad was going to happen.

my doctor upped my medication and that helped take the edge off.

Councelling started. Few get to know sessions. Then the real work started. By this point I returned to work and within 2 weeks was back on the sick. Back to Councelling Staring at a dot bouncing across the screen this was great and I felt some slight changes like horrific headaches tiredness nightmares aches and pains etc..

Recently following this my gp upped my medication to maximum again come with side effects.

5 sessions in I have managed to work on alot of self doubt and work on improvements